I’ve had quite a few job interviews in my quest for a kick start to my career. I’m a recent grad without a job (yet). Somehow even though I don’t have a job I am still the person people go to when they seek interview advice. Wouldn’t it make more sense to seek advice from someone with multiple job offers? Yeah I know… I’m still trying to figure that one out.

Alright so let’s lay it out. I’ve already established that I’ve had a few interviews. Now that doesn’t really make me an expert in getting the job but I can definitely pinpoint where I’ve fucked up and probably where you will too. After I tell you about the slip-ups I will give you my only two bits of advice when it comes to interviewing, or as I like to call it “passionate story-telling that exhibits confidence, capability, and charm.”

I will be completely honest and say that my past interviews fell through because I wasn’t honest. No, I did not lie about my work experience or grades; I lied about my passion for the position. The funny thing is that these interviewers know I’m smart, they know I’m capable, and they know I’ll work hard, they also can somehow see that I don’t really want the job as much as the OTHER guy. That’s where passion comes in. They know you’re full of shit when you say “GOD I LOVEEEE THIS FIRM!!” There is a little something called body language and it’s your ultimate giveaway. Don’t try to bullshit your interviewers…. EVER!!! They have way more experience in the art of bullshit detection than your ass probably does. Don’t try it… Don’t even think about it. It’s better to be honest and to say “I really don’t know much about this firm. Is there any chance you can clear the air for me?” They will appreciate the honesty as well as be happy to hear themselves talk for a bit.

So here is my first bit of advice. 

RULE #1 – Always be passionate

If you have to bullshit it…. DON’T! There is something on your résumé that will make your eyes wide when you talk about it. That’s what they want to see. If there isn’t anything that you partake in your everyday life that gives you a serious passion boner than you should consider reading the rest of this blog and go find a new hobby. That’s it. Be passionate. Every word out of your mouth should be cupped with passion. Show them that you want it!! 

RULE #2 – Internalize your answers

Always rehearse potential answers to the basic behavioral interview questions. In the shower, while your cooking, while you’re on the train (make sure you do this one in your head or people will start throwing change at you), and even on a Sunday morning when you’re in your room in your underwear on a caffeine trip.

I don’t prepare because I have my interview stories always on the front lines and ready to go. I can interview on the spot if someone called me right now. That’s not because I’m good at winging it…it’s because I’ve taken all the spare time in my days to rehearse non-stop to myself so that when its crunch time all of my responses seem natural. 

So there you go. Two rules that will propel you forward in the world of job hunting. There’s more advice and criticisms out there but you’ll figure it out eventually. Just don’t let a rejection email fuck up your confidence levels because that will just lead you tumbling downward into a descending spiral of joblessness and failure. You don’t want to tumble down into a descending spiral of joblessness and failure. Also, if you’re wondering I recently had an interview (four actually). I think they went really well. Not because I got along with the people or they were nodding their heads but because I went into it knowing what I have done wrong in the past and I planned a new course of action. If you’re cognizant of your mistakes you won’t make them as much. So go fail interviews like me because not until after you’ve failed a shit ton will you really know what it means to be a good interviewer or as some people like to say, “A passionate storyteller who knows how to exhibit confidence, capability, and charm.”

Good luck out there.